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Parent Workshop (March 5, 2024)

Added Mar 22, 2024 •

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Behavior and School Breaks

Show Transcript

are we are recording this presentation this is our preschool parent workshop and Elementary School parent workshop on behavior supports and we're fortunate that we have both Nicole Hosmer as well as Heather green who are our teachers on special assignment and what we'll do is turn the microphone over to them and let them go ahead and start with her presentation we will have an opportunity for questions but if you have questions during the presentation the key when a feature has been activated ask your questions there all right ladies walking in good morning my name is Heather green and I'm Nicole Hosmer and we are teachers on special assignment for preschool this year and as part of our position we rolled out a year-long parent work shop series we've been doing workshops tomorrow please send September covering a wide variety of topics really with the mindset that students are in preschool or typically somewhere around 15 to 25 hours a week and they are home for all of the and so what we are doing at school and what you are doing at home both works so much better when we have them integrated and we're equipped with the same tools same language him approach to these workshops are really ways where we take the language and the techniques and the strategies that we're utilizing in classrooms and adjust them and present them to you in a way that makes them accessible for you and we have covered all sorts of topics and those are all available on the parent website, and at the end we'll share what topics we have coming up today we're going to do two sample workshops to give you an idea what they look like for that if you're interested you can attend future ones first we're going to cover Behavior Support and then we're also going to cover ways to make school break so spring break winter break February break summer which is coming closer and more fun for your family okay so we're going to go ahead and get started by talking about Behavior so what we're going to cover and this discussion today is just Behavior 101 so kind of an overview of what Behavior looks like types of interventions that can be helpful and then just some general tips and tricks to keep in mind when you're supporting your child spell behavior what do we know what do we see Behavior can look like a lot of different things with our children My Cry they might scream they might throw things they might hit a double protests are very common I'm even ignoring you could be a behavior that you see so we can see all these different things and it's important to remember that these things that were seen are a form of communication that's the first thing we want to keep in mind so when you're seeing these behaviors whether it's crying screaming ignoring they might not all mean the same thing each time you see them they might be trying to communicate different things by using those same behaviors so we want to think about what's been going on right before the behavior occurred to kind of help give us a clue as to what are they trying to communicate not moment so that can be helpful so did you just give them Adam and that maybe they were too happy with was there a change in routine that just heard was there something not a sibling kind of dead. They didn't like so we kind of think about the environment and what circumstances happened before you started to see these undesired responses occur so there are four different reasons that the kids communicate Behavior the first one is to escape so that might occur after a and is given or if there's an activity or seeing that maybe they aren't so keen on in that moment they might try to escape doing those we also see behaviors when our students or our children are access things so it's something they want something tangible a toy food we also see behaviors happen when they are trying to get our attention or maybe a siblings attention or appears attention I don't know how many times I've told my own children to just ignore the other one because they're trying to do something to prove dimer be silly and get a response so we definitely can see that a lot and then we also see this year is when our children are trying to seek sensory input in their body so their bodies are kind of showing that something feels good and so they're trying to access that activities to get that feeling again so those are kind of the four main reasons that the why behind what they're doing and sometimes it all of these at once like for example most nights when you're trying to make dinner they want access to dinner and all the things that you don't have time to give them they don't want to put away their backpack or their shoes they want you to give them attention cuz they've been at school all day and also their overwhelming over-stimulated from full day this is why it's the witching hour all the way up until I don't know forever maybe until they are in the room ignoring you so so just know that a lot of times you can come back to one of these but there are sometimes especially like our hardest times at home which tend to be like arcade chaotic transition getting out the door in the morning getting dinner on the table and transitioning to bedtime at night where it's a hundred little fires all at once and so I'm thinking big picture about them and giving yourself permission to just play make it less chaotic and send them all the way home give yourself some I'm so we're going to move into some interventions so basically you know your you might see your behavior we're going to think of it as communication sometimes I hear people say things like oh. my child or that child is very naughty or you're super misbehaved and I think sometimes that thought process can kind of take us away from remembering that this really is communication. They're trying to tell us something there maybe doing it in a way that we wouldn't prefer so we want to help shape that into and help teach them the appropriate way to get that same communication across so these are going to be some interventions that we can do to help that happen the first thing I I want to just remind us is that it's always important to kind of pick our battles there are lots of things that are going on at home when you're out in the community out at parties and different things in life and you know there are lots of little behaviors that happened in just because there's the behavior that maybe you don't prefer that might be mildly annoying and doesn't mean we always have to give every little Behavior attention so that kind of hopefully feels reassuring to remember that when there are a lot of undesired attention-seeking Behavior ignoring those it's kind of the best of prey if we do think that that is the primary reason that they're doing it is just for attention nothing else then we have to remember that ignoring that and kind of extinguishing that behavior is a good approach and then when are doing things that are desirable that we give them lots and lots of attention and praise for those behaviors instead so if they're using their words rather than throwing something then we're going to want to highlight and praise them for that and give them attention for that instead another really big thing is to remember to just giving them time is essential and it's okay to just take a minute it doesn't have to be addressed the second it happens and in fact can often be better if we do give our children just a minute to kind of regulate especially if they're in a very heightened escalated state that can be a really challenging time for them to hear any that we're trying to sell them and I just even reflect on myself if I am very agitated or upset and somebody's you know talking to me or you're trying to tell me things you know if I don't want to hear it I can't absorb it all so even as an you know we need time to just regulate before we're giving given feedback so for our kids I think it's important to remember to just give ourselves a breath give them and then when they start to look like they're coming down in regulating than that might be a good time to engage with salmon give them feedback so so just give them time I also encourage the kind of verbal feedback when they're in that really heightened state so kind of goes along with that so again if you really like talking at them a lot and they're really agitated or tantrum and you're crying you know it could even just escalate them even more so just limiting your verbal until they started to calm down a little bit and I think something that often gets missed in this particular category is that we talked about limiting verbal for Left for bowling but really even for hyperverbal kiddos they need that limited verbal when they're regulating because that's a whole part of their brain that they have to access that they don't have access to and then my four and a half year old talks like he's 30 he will tell you all the things about your feelings and how they're in your body and and and what tools to use he helps problem-solve at school but when he is having a tantrum if I try and stay tool toys are flying across the room we are three main we are making noises like donkeys like it it doesn't matter that I had access to that language all of the time if I am not regulated then my Pathways to access that aren't there and so even with him I'll use visuals of a simple visual where he can identify how he is feeling quenching are playing off with a magnet a magnet or velcro some magnets and velcros are your best friends with our little our littlest friends and we're more than happy to share some samples of what you might use at home at the end of your question I'm and and then letting him point or choose or to what what is it that you want to do because asking him to produce language is taking away from his access to start self right. I think just remember that like no matter how we have and how much were you able to reason before or after during times of escalation none of us have our best two words available and then like one last thing about like giving them time as also gives us time like 7 sometimes even for myself like something will happen with my children and I'll do that if you know like I get that emotional response Within Myself and then if I were to react in that moment I might not react the way that I would ideally like to when I was more regulated in, so it also gives me and it gives us the opportunity to take a breath for ourselves and then like how every and then be able to approach the situation and it's all Norway and then we can when we're calm and we're regulated it's going to help our children be able to regulate that much faster there is an Instagram account called study parents so if you're on Instagram and it's all about tools that we can use as parents in those moments to help regulate our self and they're really cool tangible ones like chomping on ice or chewing gum word putting your back to the wall just a little tricks because we I read about that that said when our child is in chaos it's not our responsibility to make them calm it's our responsibility to be there calm and so really taking the time to think about what you needs to remain regulated and study our is huge and I think coming I've talked for 10 years and my first 6 years I was not apparent in my last four years I've been a parrot and the for me is understanding how I'm able to regulate and show up in the classroom just does not translate to how I'm able to regulate and show up at all first of all my kids can hurt my feelings more right like it if it was frustrating and stab when an end it's emotional but also we both been out in the world all day giving all of our energy to other places and we haven't saved the best for each other until what do we need to do in the space until I encourage you and thinking about it in Behavior to figure out what you need to be regulated have a tag team system with your partner or other adults in your family to really be able to be like okay if I'm expecting them to show up as their bath towels what do I need to be going to shop at okay so again kind of going back to the communication piece so if we're always considering that behavior is a form of communication then why priority should be to really encourage that appropriate communication from our children so how can we do this modeling language is always the best kind of throughout life and throughout play through all kinds of circumstances to give our children those words even if it's you know sign language gesturing any of those things and we always want to model that language still modeling appropriate request even appropriate protest in those moments of behavior is really great and then when they are attempting to use any kind of language even if it's an approximation we really want to reinforce that language heavily so that teaching them that that language is the way to get that communication across not the behavior so one thing I really love to do all the time is let my students and my children know that their communication attend Was Heard and understood so I was working with this unit just the other day and he was very adamant about not wanting to do something and he kept telling me no and he kept saying he wanted to go home and I just kept telling him I hear you like I know you want to go home I hear that thank you for telling me that and then you know on this particular situation I had it wasn't time to go home in it but I always want to I'm know that they're heard because even if they are protesting something that unfortunately we just can't honor like let's say they don't want to get in the car but it's time to go home from the grocery store like you have to get in the car and there's no and you know we still want them to know that that language was valuable we don't want to just ignore it or dismiss it because then they're going to think well what was the point of using that language maybe I'll just try to Aerotek summer hit you instead so that's a great thing to do praising the communication again like thank you for telling me that I hear you that's awesome you know Praises very helpful we can honor that communication we really want to try to in the moments that were able to because again that's going to reinforce that use of language so anytime that it's possible resume example maybe they don't want to take a bath and they're telling you appropriately like I don't want to take a bath so you might say like I hear you thank you so much for telling me that take a bath right now will take a bath in 10 minutes or something like that so when we can are things that's going to really really Ranch horse that language communication so we want to do that and then we also use a lot of first then language when especially when we can honor it in that moment we're going to say things wow thank you for telling me that you're all done with your dinner you know first you need to clean up everything and then you can be all done and go play that first then language can be really powerful and again like reinforces that you've heard what they're telling you so that would be a great thing to include and and another thing that is powerful about the first that language is that it limits your nose and so I told family from like the time your child is Mobile in till like somewhere between the ages of 7 to 9 depending on your child's developmental level most of what they want to do is going to be a note I want to jump off the couch I want to ride in the front seat I do want to wear my seatbelt I don't want to poop on the potty I don't want you to change my diaper I want to watch 5 hours of TV you know most of the thing I want to eat exclusively Red Vines for dinner the things that they want to do we have to say no for safety and health reasons so something that my husband and I are constantly struggling with between each other is it he'll say no and I'm like really want to say no to that like why he's like well because I don't know like the last that you anytime you can say yes if it's not a health or safety piece try and say yes because think of how often our kiddos here know and they you know why and I'm trying to give them some context of the Y no more like my kiddo wants to eat cookies at every meal and my cookies are so good we are going to have it's on her plan to have cookies for dinner but we can make a plan cookies for snack later this week right so I'm still holding a boundary I'm still choosing as a parent what is available to him and keeping him safe and healthy but I'm also empowering him with his request birmingham's language and making him feel like he and how are moving through ART and wait when you just use the word later there is so much power and later again you're not just saying no so like your child might want to go to the park and instead of just saying no I can't go to the park you might say like I sure do want to go to the park meeting at the park later and later for kids like isn't a defined period of time but they know that they're going to get access to it at some point so that I can really hope and sort of proactively preventing some of those bigger behaviors from coming out because they know that like it's going to be available in their life just not in that exact moment and with that he has my like me parent hack of the day when you go somewhere like a theme park or Target or even the grocery store if your child is asking for things that up the expectation that we're going to take pictures of the things that you want and I'm going to add onto an album call my phone and then when it's your birthday or Christmas or you get you earn some money from doing expires Eve then you can choose from those pictures what you want to hear acknowledging yes you want that and I hear that you want. and I am noting that you want that and we will make a plan for you to have access to that later and so this is one of those like five things I did my classroom was give these little like Disneyland cheap Orioles on have a navigate Disneyland with small because that's the whole thing and the big thing I would tell them it's a like there's fun things to buy every way where you can even exit a ride without going through a store and I tell them like tell your kiddo ahead of time on our last day at this time we're going to shoes are present from the trip and the way we're going to choose that is by looking back at all the pictures of things that you like then all you have to do instead of negotiating for 15 minutes for take a picture and then as your kids get older my kiddo has a running Amazon wish list free people that have access to it it's not something that we even really use but for him he's been able to see that I'm acknowledging that that's something that you want I'm not going to give it to you right now but we can make a plan for what you might ask for later so yeah I can pull it up on my phone so it sends down on oh okay we'll try again. Maybe at the end one thing to keep in mind is when you do set an expectation or you do have Adam and it is really important to be able to follow through with that expectation so sometimes our kids will use Behavior as a way to communicate that they don't want to do something and they can learn overtime but I can add more and more and my behavior bigger and bigger is to try to get out of doing something so when we're studying these expectations we want to be able to follow through with it you know one example for my own children is I might say by you know if you keep doing something I'm going to take TV away from for the weekends like no TV at all and then I guess the weekend and I'm like everyone's tired like I really wish I could blink and told them tell them that they can like go sit and watch TV for an hour or something so we want to make sure that we're setting up expectation that we can follow through with and that they can follow through it it's okay to 10 your expectation so I'm in the classroom an example of this is I might present an activity to a child and say okay like color this whole page and they might not be in the coloring they throw their car and they don't want to do it and I want to follow through with that expectation but it's okay to decrease it and say you know what we're going to come back and color but we're just going to color for 10 seconds and then you can be all done because I can see that you want to be all done so let's just color together for 10 2nd and in the end they've come back they've followed through with the expectation even though it's not the whole page that's okay so just keep that in mind that it's okay to break down the transfer the expectation into a smaller piece and have them be able to follow through with that and one little cheat you can do at home is like we have a strict rule in my house that if you throw something it's not meant to be thrown then you lose access to it so during a transfer my child through his yotto I was like I'm so sad that tells me that your body isn't safe to use your Yoda right now and so I took it and put it away but him listening to his urine is like a mean too old for calling his body are you going to bed and so we have a rule in our family that you have the opportunity to earn things back by demonstrating that your body is safe and able to use it safely again and so it doesn't have to be like just try not to say things like no TV all week that's going to show me that we're all done with screen time right now and so then I might turn off the TV because we're rolling all over the floor but oh your body is calling you went potty how to stack that shows me that we're ready to try again right to giving yourself the flexibility negotiate for your own mental is is huge and giving yourself some Grace to be able to be like I held the boundary and also I did not access to that tool that actually makes my life easier yes another thing that I think it's helpful for us and for them is it's okay to take a break from whatever the situation is if it's their time to clean up the entire living room and too much for them to handle it's okay to to say you know what like I can see that you're not ready to clean up we're going to need to take 5 minutes regulate ourselves and then we can come back to it so just keep that mine's I think it's always good to make sure we are coming back to it at some point but taking that break is okay and then also just working together it doesn't have to be a hundred percent you have to clean up this whole living room because you made this entire mess you know what I'm going to put the red blocks away what color blocks are you going to put away and so you can kind of approach it as like teamwork and that's going to often help them to make some friends sometimes too cuz you're doing it together Austin for rent you know those the Hebrews from topping is that follow through on tasks things like cleaning up and getting ready to go even eating breakfast doing this way 14 those all require access for kiddos to Executive functioning so if our kiddos have a disability that impacts their executive functioning and their dysregulated they might not be able to do that even though other times they can do it Italy independently so again this is where you want to pull out visuals you want to break the touchdown for them my kiddo is exceptionally good at cleaning up but if he has a more than three different types of toys out he just dumped everything it's so disregard leading for him so I have to be in there and I don't have to clean up I can be putting away his laundry but I can say okay do you want to do blocks first serve all alright so let's see how quickly you can do the ball and you get all the balls in before I do the shirt and then okay now would you do your Legos or do you want to do your right and so he is cleaning it up and he is learning instead of going around my room trying to find all these things and where they go which takes a lot of planning and decision-making I can pick one thing and because that all goes in one bed and that's an easy top and so thinking about the Austin has a things were asking them to do when they're able to do them in a regulated State they don't yet have the skills to do them in a different state so we stopped at think about that as an opportunity to teach them those skills and provide them with that scaffolding and then we never want to forget to add that praise and reinforcement in so we're all cleaning up together and then we're going to say hey like great job cleaning up or do you were so high we're a great team so just making sure that we're always including that freezing rain for cement along the way this point in time is regarding when our children are really seeking sensory and put some of our kids will try to access certain activities do certain movements with their body and these types of things can really feel good for them they can help regular and so it can be important for them to be able to engage in these types of activities throughout their day but sometimes they can be interfering because we might be needing to get in the car we might need to take a bath we might it might be dinner time sometimes it can be hard when it's not the moment isn't quite right for them to be able to access that so I'm trying to be proactive and providing them access to sensory input in the home or maybe on the go you can have a little sensory then areas in the house where they can access those types of activities making sure they do have time during their day when they can have access to it maybe a down time while you're cooking or when you get home from work they can you know go ahead and engage in those activities and then when it is time to engage in something else then we're really just going to try to use that redirection at that point to try to get them you move on since that the task that you'd like them to do Amazon has some excellent visual timers to use for this my favorite is look like a kitchen timer and it's 45 to an hour but it has all differ pattern so we have a space one in a rainbow one and you can set it for 5 minutes when the rainbow disappears it goes off and now we're all done time in my household it's that really visual representation of how much time they have left and they can do for each time and the other really important thing with input is just to spend time with your kids and talking to your kids teachers any external service providers they have to really figure out what is alerting for your kiddo and what is calling for your kiddo so my kids loves to spin but that gets him more and more excited so like if he wants to do somersault and and spitting we go to the trampoline park on Sunday morning cuz then he before bed the, a movement for him is that like forward linear movement self will do scooter scooter boarding on our Valley through the house we will do riding scooters outside or riding our bikes he likes that kind of that crashed feeling so we'll put all the masks and pillows on the floor and let him jump off the couch onto the floor will use our weighted blanket the sensory the access to Century schools right now all of us not having to pay a premium for them like the educational system or the educational companies is incredible so 10 years ago if you want to take out like a weighted bean bag chair or something stretchy for kids it on you had to buy it from like specialty occupational therapy companies and they were $95 for a stretchy band but now like you can get there like have a whole section of sensory tools at Target so really just kind of taking the time to figure out what is exciting for your kiddo when it's calling for your kiddo and when you need those tools and and where to use them it is valuable and just knowing that every kid is different and that's that changes when we have a whole presentation on sensory that's on the website so we can make sure that you all have access to that link as well this kind of just reviews some of the tips and tricks so one is front loading really this goes a long way when we can let them know what's what's coming what to expect in certain situations that can really help our little ones they regulated my son he's actually a little bit older now he trying to eat but he is the type where he needs multiple reminders of what's coming up like a week beforehand I will tell him what's what's going to happen What To Expect and then oldies later I'm going to talk to him about it again and then a couple days later and I talked to him about it again so then by the time the activity actually comes up he's very regulated and he understands rather than if I just kind of spring it on him it's harder for him I need to show more signs of dis regulations so that front loading and letting them know ahead of time what's the time what's going on is very very helpful visual calendars or visual schedules are really helpful to do this doesn't have to be fancy it can be a dry erase board where you draw like a smiley face for playtime and sunshine for outside time but just sending able to see at and sequence that is really really helpful I'm just trying to be consistent so again setting yourself up with expectations and setting parameters that you can follow through with that that you can provide in a predictable way so that you have consistent and how your you know responding to behaviors or proactively setting your children up for expectations I'm is going to be very important that structure I think that kind of those visuals can help with that as well but structuring out you know your your home environment using those timers kind of just letting them know we used to always do a bedtime routine every single night we did the same routine leading up to bed so you might do dinner bath time then it's book time and then we would go around and say good night to people in the house and even objects in the house and then we go into bed and sing songs and we didn't the same exact routine every night and that was really helpful for bedtime so having structure throughout your own life can also be really helpful especially the hardest times where that structure was really helpful our other times were obviously we have to be flexible but in those challenging moments that structure can be really really hopeful and just being proactive just making your interactions positive filling up their buckets making having that time to just connection and you know that your children feel good about life in your relationships and things that are going on is always helpful we've spoken about regulating our cell prioritizing that is really going to help everything when we're regulated when works on when were able to respond and the way that we want to that's going to help everyone involved and then planning I mean there could be like Heather mentioned earlier so many different things going on and to kind of think about it and take a step back and say okay there's all these different things happening what what are the priority I don't need to address them all all the same time maybe there's one thing that I really want to work on with my child and I'm going to just take that on and I'm going to focus on that so planning things out picking your priorities can also be very helpful and it is okay pick the thing that is hardest for you them losing their mind at dinner time every night is the hardest part of the day for you start with that because if your life is easier than all the other you're going to be able to better use these tools are crossed in Bayern and also for the be proactive think it really only takes our little kids 5 to 10 minutes a day for their bucket TV. Oh maybe you wake them up 5 minutes earlier and you come in and you're not telling them to get rest and go potty and eat their breakfast and brush their teeth you're saying really was thinking about that Lego set I would like to see what you felt or can we read the story or can you show me your favorite point in your room your favorite toy right now it doesn't have to be long it doesn't have to be involved it doesn't have to be this like parent kid date that has 4 portions to it and lasts all day it can be 5 to 10 minutes where they get your undivided attention where you leave your phone somewhere else where other siblings aren't allowed in the room and they just get to lead the interaction based on what they are excited or interested in my kiddos first thing to do is help me cook and I that's like my timer I put in my airpods and ignore my my children and my husband is in charge so he'll stay like I really want to help make muffins today and so we send the other one to the park and we spend 15 minutes putting all the ingredients in the blender and then that's it and then his bucket is full all day so I know that it's small and and it can be as much as an extra 5 minutes in the morning or no five minutes at bedtime I just lay with my kiddo every night 45 minutes after all the bedtime routine is done she has a minute I go make sure everything is settled and then I come back in and during that time he knows he tell me anything and sometimes he told me about how he would like to make a farting robot and sometimes he tells me things like what he said this morning which is I just have one of your bracelet so that it will remind me of you in case you get Dad or you go on a date night like the things that are happening in their little brains are just remarkable and sometimes we don't carve out time to be part of that and so really it's just that 5 minutes where I stopped in there and I still Hammond tells me sometimes things that I want to go right and share on the internet and sometimes things are I'm like okay good night all right so that I don't know if there's any other questions bring up if you have any you're welcome to Adams to the Q in a but that was the end of our presentation for behaviors will have a part to you on school break but we will take Behavior question do either of you have questions it is and it's something I feel like I've just been learning about a lot but I can give you some resources when we're done I'll pull it up on my phone and share them with you there's some really great resources out there about that that have have helped me tremendously and it really is just about taking the knowing your triggers and making a plan and making sure that you're taking care of yourself but she know easier said than done but it's too if you can do it in a kind of coming up way like I'm feeling really frustrated right now I need a minute you know I think that's actually really good way to model using language and moments are frustration. set a time for me personally is like one of the biggest thing because I can like steam in my head and I'm going to stay there and say that and then like time will pass and I'll be like a completely different because I let that all go so like. survival when your candles are a little bit older to like north of 454 most of them you can even show them in real-time so I will say my body doesn't feel I don't feel available to problem-solve I'm in she's a tool I meant you some brats and some call music and I will sit in the middle of his room while he is doing whatever he's doing and I will play my calm music I will sit there and I will close my eyes and take deep breath and 90% of the time you join me and that my purpose is not for him to do that my purpose is to call myself so that I can do whatever it is that he needs but most the time he will join me in to that and I think it's really encouraging for 50. Like we don't have it together all the time we also have to access and utilize these tools and sometimes this tool helps me and sometimes doesn't help me right like I music is a big calming tool in our family but sometimes when I'm over stimulated I'll be like I cannot hear one more minute of noise like I cannot write and so we we have those conversations in real-time so that they understand even just little bits and pieces of it and normalize that experience of going through the whole sensory Spectrum everyday Valerie she shared her five-year-old son is autistic and the other was to thank you. Thank you for this okay so we will jump into our next one is the other one already up on a chair are you hoes all the same how about that all right till the next presentation is about successful school breaks School inherently bad a lot of structure into our routine right as a parent as a teacher that's very true for me right so we have somewhere to be at a certain time we have to pack lunches there's a whole routine and structure and Rhythm to our days and when school breaks happen a lot of that is lost and so this is really about giving you some tangible schools and how to navigate X away from school as short as a weekend and longest summer things that we do at school that you can replicate it first we're going to go over knowing what to expect and how to plan the preparation to lay that Foundation things that you can actually utilize at home for your family really tangible tricks and then again opportunities for you to ask any questions that you might have so the first thing is to know that changes in routine are not regulating especially for our youngest kiddos we think about things like party days in the classroom as really exciting and fun and I cannot tell you that like the most amount of Tears is on Halloween every year and then the second one monitors it's probably on Valentine's Day right like the it is exciting but that's a big feeling that they feel in all of their body and they don't really know what to expect or how to navigate and oh my gosh I see candy and this costume Richie but I've always wanted it and there's just a lot of things happening so know that even happy things like Disneyland or Vacations or out-of-town family coming and visiting can be exciting and it's regulating at the same time so think about your kiddo prior to a break and think about how to different plans and events and changes in routine and packed all of the people in your family and how does it impact you so I love having it energizes me and makes me feel happy it keeps me on the routine on day 3 of it and if we have a visitor all weekend Sunday night you have never met someone so grumpy is my husband he is definitely extrovert but he feels like the Sunday scaries thing that happens and so we have worked into a routine that when we have gas we ask them to leave Sunday before noon and to think about your kid in that same way what way when their cousins homes are they really excited for the first two hours and then losing their mind for the next 3 hours what how do these things in text them and and get curious about why I think about how is it because it's hard for them to share is it because now you know why I went on those days they go to bed a little later and then wake up a little bit earlier and it turns out that even half an hour left of sleep really impact my kiddo and when you think about a break especially the man and more and family Rich holiday Rich portions of break really prioritize what is the most important thing to you is it going to see the lights is it your Disneyland trip is it having that family dinner all together and then pick the second most important thing in the third most important thing and then figure out how to take the first one and figure out okay what do we all need to make that baseball experience and it might mean that you cut out some other things or it might mean that you were only doing something every other day or it might mean that you if sitting down and having everyone happy at that big family meal is really important to you lightning the on the way their European of chicken nuggets and french fries for your kid to eat at that meal with you because then they will not be screaming about the slimy-looking Cranberries write I'm so really getting flexible with yourself and prioritizing the things that will bring you the most Raw and how to make them joint and meaningful making a calendar for your break then what day things are going to that can also be something that provides a little more structure that there are used to and that might help them feel good and regulated so okay so with your other adults that are going to be around during the break to come up with an agreed-upon plan what circumstances are we staying up past bedtime when are we skipping now when are we real changing how and when we're eating you know in my family we have like pretty sad times we eat at mealtimes and stock X we don't graze all day but if you're going to be somewhere where there's like a grazing board out all day is that a down to your old and if you're not what does that mean for dinner time I think correctly about that stuff and together as a family with whatever adults are going to be involved in guiding your child make sure that you're on the same page about that what happens if someone is expecting something out of us that we're not available to get you know things like what if at the end of the night all the grandparents want hugs from your kid but your kid has eaten three cookies didn't he can and I had an accident and they just want to go home and being dry clothes and go to bed how are you as a family going to advocate for a child what are your expectations going to be can you share some of those expectations with extended family ahead of time can you give your kid a toy store a visual to use what is your plan for leaving if you might need to are you going to take two cars so that if our one kiddo that gets really tired early needs to leave the rest of the fan I can stay what it what are some of the things that we can do so that if that moment comes up it doesn't feel as just regulating for all of us and were able to be like I hear you you're telling me that you're all done let's go home Nicole talked about it the calendar print it dry I hang it up and explain it and you can do little chains where you tear up each day and write one activity on the chain from like ages between 4 and 7 or 8 I like the chunks the day is it the morning sun can an afternoon and it can be as simple as toy time go to the library Park go to the grocery store but it just gives them some anchor points in their day because you have to remember their school schedule is very anchored and very predictable and so you want them to be able to make sense of themselves in that time and then fill in any of those special events because that will naturally lead you to doing some of that front that we talked about material think about what you need to be successful ordering special snacks for long road trips and thinking about preferred independent activities most in dog has this amazing new thing called on a sticker well and it's basically like those little pains but it's not paint or Messi it's little stickers and they have little circles and you still in little circles and they have them in every scene and my one year old loves them and the seven-year-old we were hanging out with. They were super fat and like so they're called sticker Wow's they're awesome you don't think about things like that a little art kit I recommend going to Michaels and Target like the day after a holiday and buying their clearance little craft kits because they're usually kind of low-mass you can put them on a little tray and that's something that they can sit there and do independently we don't do a lot of independent activities with our kiddos when they're in school because our time is so filled with getting home and and taking care of all the Transitions and just moving through the day but on these brakes it's important for them to have independent time so that you have a minute to and any sensory regulation pools that you might need thinking about that ordering them ahead of time and planning with their teacher what what you know there utilizing School okay tips and tricks we talked about front loading really making sure they know a break is coming how many more days till we go back to school I'm for summer it's really important that you talk about we're all done with first grade when we go back it's going to be second grade all done with the preschool Nickelback it's going to be kindergarten some of our kids get a little bit nervous about this so we might not want to talk about it at nauseam you got to really feel it out for your kiddo my kiddo at one point we finally had to stay you're right we're going to start a new school that feels a little scary but it's it's a long time away so we are going to put that in our worry jar and we would say okay yep and then when Summer's over running start new school it's been and I were each other and we'll come back to it later having plans downtime foremost kids all the way up like 5th grade you can embed a part of your day that is quiet time or rest time and it can look a lot of different and you can teach it to all of them which is quiet time in their own space to do their own thing so there's something called a Yoda player Yoto and it has it's like kind of an iPod shuffle for this generation and it's not a screen they have little cars that have podcast music books and the kids can put them in there two buttons that really made my 18 month old can navigate that and my five year olds on sale and you listen to the stories and four kiddos that aren't reading yet or are we went with reading it's a great way to get them engaged in kind of like quiet reading time I'm for kids that do you like to look through books are are able to read going to library at the beginning of break and letting them pick out a whole basket of books and calling it your break time basket that the only time we're reading those books as during that fight time it's your special basket you take out during that time you get to sit here and read it you can Gage based on your child like my kiddo Legos are really good quiet time activity for him are projects are not because he asks for lots of help but our neighbor who I babysit sometimes our is like the perfect you can set her up with like for materials and a table and bother you for 90 minutes right so figuring out what your kiddos like to do and can do and his best hope for them to do your kids are like done napping I would continue to tell them that even if you're not going to fall asleep work this is still our quiet time otherwise it's like when am I ever going to do the same and that again I would I'm still be in their room but they didn't have to sleep they could read they can play quiet toys things like that and you can Define that. Of time you can use timers things like that the best timer on my kiddo dropped his nap we did one hour of quiet time in his room and then we did 30 minutes of reading time together and then he got to watch a 30-minute show so I got two hours where it wasn't like chaos in my house and really good for me and it was really good for him you should see white white kids do at school like in preschool you have like 20 40 Bunkie General glycol lay down on the mat for 2 hours in the middle of the day you would never do that at home and even in like second and third grade classroom 30 minutes of independent reading time and I'm sitting there quietly and so it's just that and setting up that environment for yourself and for them and it and that is a great thing to Anchor your day what you do before you have breakfast and then you have your morning and then your quiet time and then your afternoon and then dinner time it really helps chunk your day really well it's called yoda on Yoto a yodel player there's also ponies box toonies that one's a little bit more expensive and the instead of cards it's little characters that you put on it that tell stories so my kid would play with them and break them so I went with the Yoda player but also if you have Spotify or apple or a kid's Alexa device in the room there's an amazing amount of kids free storytelling podcast just family our kids podcast I found one yesterday it's called the science of why and it's like why do people smile what makes people happy why are pandas black and white like all the questions that your kids ask you that you're unavailable to answer and my kitty goes so I think that's a really really good yeah I think I will use Alexa a lot and uzak or even just like calming Nature music with sounds and so we'll just have that kind of on in the background and that fact it also kind of music you like if you always put on certain style of music or nature sounds. To kind of like give them a key that like okay this is like my my comp time the music is on like it it's kind of odd that structure to it kids podcasts and they have storytelling podcast also there is a sound machine called a hatch hatch and you can have different color light too and so in our family like in the morning for example when it's pink. That means we stay in bed when it's yellow we can look at books when it's green we can play when it turns rainbow we can come out of our route right so that can be part of how you structure it so that they have visual cues of when they can be doing what's next also I really recommend if you're going to get one to get at you use because the old versions are better than the new version is a lot of different light stop lights if you have to search like on Amazon like red yellow green stuff like that you can buy it but if you can change it like but with a remote from your phone it's nice because then it's like oh sorry like the lights green like I'm not the enemy needs to run into my room in the morning and I'm starting to feel like I'm back in here non school days it's really nice that can give you a minute so I get up and start your day and and it gives them more practice with some of that Independence the room will be messy though meal planning this feels like a silly one but I cannot tell you how much chicken should be able to use their lunch box and packing their lunch during school breaks their summer is going to see you battles I didn't want this I want to die. I want to eat all day even though we know that you do 3 hours at a time without eating it's cool I still packed lunches and put them in the same lunch box and oftentimes we going to have a picnic in the front yard or at the park or whatever activity we're doing we just happen to stop sometimes we have carpet next time we open up the back of the car and eat in the back and they think that's so exciting and it also means that my kitchen is less destroyed so really thinking about that piece of it and and making things easy for yourself this is going to sound like an influencer plug but I have none cheese in the game but there's something called Cooks smart and it's a website that sends you weak menus and it tells you exactly what grocery items you need you can say how many servings you want to make up something what dietary restrictions you have and then it will populate a whole grocery list for you and tell you what you can do to prep like five days ahead of time so that when it's time to make dinner you can just put it all together that is a huge Lifesaver for me when I'm also trying to constantly manage and watching my kids when they're out so that can really help reduce in chaos this is just like try not to over program your kiddos they don't need to go I can't for 4 hours and then have a playdate and then do some muffins that that structure isn't going to replace the very predictable routine structure of school picking one or two things that I'm making sure that there's opportunities to making sure you're getting what you and then always having a back-up plan so if you have a really exciting plan and it rains what is your plan B if they're losing their mind or or you get somewhere and it's really crowded what where what are you going to die your plans healed all of that is helping you stay more grounded so can be more fun so yeah and I think ultimately of course all these things are going to help tremendously but it's also just give yourself Grace and remind yourself ahead I'm not like all of the best planning and all of the best backup plans like things aren't going to always go perfectly and just to be able to like know that that didn't happen and then when it does your like we're in the what's going to happen at some point you know we're going to work through this and maybe he's one of our backup plans but just give yourself that Grace that like things don't always go perfectly and this is a hard time for a lot of our children these unstructured break so you know just take a breath and I'm trying not to compare your everyday test someone else's highlight reel right like thinking that life you see people and they're like oh we went on a 12-day Vicky sending everyday we did 97 activities and everyone looks perfectly broom to me got a perfect family photo where everyone was smiling and my kids all eat carrots like everyone had boogers it was froze my car literally is never going to not have Goldfish crackers fresh into the carpet right like that's everyday part of brakes and and I think just like giving yourself a crazy and and not feeling like they have to incredibly magical time just taking them as this is time for me to spend with my kiddo and get to know them in a different context and for them to get to know me in a different context and maybe some of that will be fine or maybe we won't like those versions of each other but that's okay that's what this time is for it doesn't have to be you know they don't have to look back on their brakes and think they are the most magical thing in the world and we would love to answer any questions you might have call preparing for school breaks or anyting anything that you would like to ask us soon people that spend a lot of time with little kids how do you get a child to not the question is how do we get a kiddos pretty dependent on their iPad for sound like a distraction tool while they're moving through non-preferred routines how do we kind of help them Step Up and I feel like this is a good Nicole yeah I think the best approach not knowing the child specifically is to kind of tries to chunk out the tasks and maybe have moments in this house where you're asking them to maybe give you the device for a second and then they can have it back so maybe it's toileting so they might need the device to get onto the toilet so you don't want to meet disrupt that routine right from the start so you might give them the device and then once they're on the toilet you might tell them okay mommy's turn like give me the iPad and then I'll give it right back to you and once they can tolerate. Then what you're going to want to do is eat langi the amount of time that you are holding on to the iPad and then before you give it back to that right and then as that tolerance Bill eventually hopefully you can use some of those first then statements in okay it's time for potty I know you want the iPad and you can have it with you first go sit down and then I'll give it to you and see your kind of elongating that tolerance again knowing that like it's something they need it helps radio and letting them know that they it's not a no they can have access to it but first we have to do parts of the routine and then over time the goal would be to get through the whole routine before they can have access to I panic at OK and then you can also use timers those are really helpful and I would definitely like when they do get it having it be a structured amount of time that they get it before it goes back to you so okay on the potty here's the timer one minute they have flip timers that are like 30 seconds in 1 minute on Amazon I probably get those like the little sand timers and to stay at the Sands all done now it's mommy's turn right you want to sure that the amount of time they get it once they burned it is also assured and I would also recommend practicing this tolerance outside of the routine that are really challenging so maybe it's just raining like playtime you're going to like say okay I'm going to grab the iPad and bring it over and practice that so you can tell them okay we're going to do a iPad first your turn then my turn and you kind of just practice turn-taking but it's not within that really hard time a bathroom toilet in or whatever so that they're learning that kind of that structure their learning to tolerate you taking a turn outside of the moment so then you can bring it in later to those tough moments and use it the same way that makes sense and also once you do start in teasing it into those tougher routines doing it on days or in times that you have a lot of time right so like probably don't start off on a day when you need to be out the door in in 25 minutes but maybe on a day where it's Saturday and you don't have anymore if it takes 2 hours it takes 2 hours and you kind of get yourself in the mind that this might take two more I think a lot of these things are best approach to potty training is approach which is like this is going to consume my life or a chunk of time and I'm just going to go with it and it doesn't really matter you know there are there were many a days in my classroom where I would spend like I felt like all day in the bathroom with a kid because they were refusing to do whatever is that they needed to do and I would look at them and say all day like this is literally my job and so putting that had on for yourself at home like if it takes all day so this is what we're doing and if it doesn't great we're going do something fun instead and know that like it might they might push back you know they might seem like this is I'm not used to this and just because they're pushing back doesn't mean that what you're doing is wrong or ineffective just sticking with it making a plan for yourself just a like I'm going to try the strategy for like a week and I'm going to do it every night because I have time after dinner when we do these you know this routine and just know that like okay and they're pushing back like maybe they're getting I'm going to like stick to this expectation and we're going to keep working through it and then I think with consistency then you'll I would imagine you would see more tolerance come and sometimes it's a little bit worse before it gets better right like you might have like 2 or 3 days where it goes really well and they're like oh wait a minute you're tricking me like how did I get here and then you might have a week for their like all of a sudden you're like they don't even want lots of time and know that it is not linear then if this is one of your friends are like yeah I was just grab it later like when it when it's your turn and even explain it all your mom and then when it's her turn again you know whether it's because she got on the potty or even if you're just saying it's going to be my turn for 10 seconds you can stick it in the Eastern 12345 it's your turn again as your body safe and ready for it and then it sounds like yeah that maybe like a brief countdown might be where a good place to start like 5 Seconds 10 seconds and even if she's dysregulated you're like okay 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 and then you do that every single time I think typically when I do that they do get used to it and then it's predictable and then maybe as you see that she's not like getting as upset maybe you can do 15 seconds baby can do 20 seconds maybe you could introduce the time so you know just building slow is okay like little things little exchanges I won't get to see at the slightly later summer just like the time change coming we should be in bed but we've been were still outside and then you were acting kind of getting them ready at school coming back in I should be getting out a little bit earlier I think this is a little bit individualised based on your family like what you guys have going on in your life what your expectation typically is for bedtime I am also more flexible on I let them stay up a little bit later like if it's a week break I typically have my kids start kind of getting back into that routine like 2 or 3 days before if they return to school after summer break I typically do it about a week it depends how far from Bedtime you've gotten to know if your kids are sleeping in till 9 and they have a 7:45 start time then you're going to want to start probably several weeks back and like slowly moving bedtime back 15 or 20 minutes and moving wake time up 15 or 20 minutes if it's only an hour more than a week will probably be fine but it's really just how how much you need to scoot and whatever Direction doing it sooner will not harm you so if if if that feels like a better plan to start with and you have spring break too kind of trial this on and then you can make a better plan for summer I do have to be somewhere on the floor when we do I know I try to say okay it said that the question is if you absolutely have to be somewhere in your child's like no no no no on the floor what are you do and so I always in my car keep a full outfit in and snacks and water bottle and I say we're leaving here's the timer going to go off in 5 minutes if you want to go in your pajamas you're going to be in your pajamas. Going to be comfortable you're not going to have a snack you might you're not going to have time to go potty whatever it is and just hold that boundary and remind them every minute okay we're leaving in 4 minutes would you like to get ready or do you want to keep screaming do you want to keep screaming okay all right we're leaving in 2 minutes would you like to get ready or do you want to keep screaming oh I see that you want to keep screaming all right well it's time for us to go now I hear that you don't want to go we're going to come home in a little bit but we have to leave I'm going to put you in your element help your body get a new car seat and you just hold the boundary and you try not to take it personally and trying to figure out how to make my husband dodging we've doggedly right like they're going to be flailing but if you have all that in the car already to go then it's no skin off your teeth and most the time like my kiddos like what school my pajamas and I was like yeah we can't all your teacher Miss Tina that your body wasn't ready to get dressed and she can help you get dressed but I have to go and he's so often a Jamis or they have to go somewhere in their pajamas oh well yeah and my kids are very cute you know I like that I like are you ready or is your body not ready yet and then at towards the end when it is like we're out of time I will even say like you can do it by yourself or I'm going to help you there's no choice you're not do it one of those two things are happening if you're not choosing to do it by yourself then I'm helping you and I'll tell them that ahead of time and then if they're still showing signs of this regulation and they're not getting up I will tell them oh your body is showing me that you're choosing that you want me to help you right now here we go you know she can be quite stubborn it's a routine that is typically always challenging just thinking of ways that you can proactively add in structure and support visual schedule the timers maybe they like leading up to time to go they pick a favor way to bring with them to hold her I'm going to read in the car so just kind of thinking like like a special snack that's part of their breakfast or that they eat once they're in the car seat and fully dressed my kiddo is like super motivated by breakfast and so we started making it a rule that you don't get to come out and eat breakfast until you're gone potty and got dress I feel like we put the note on the preferred ahead of the highway prefer right so kind of building is your schedule also if you go if you talk to your child's teacher and or if you go on fer Teachers Pay Teachers they have lots of like free downloads for daily schedule and I like the ones that velcro closed today call delco's close and it's like go potty and you get to open it up and there's a check mark and then I put on my clothes check mark and you can kind of personalize it to yours that Regine and we often underestimate how satisfying it is for kids to move through in the same way that we like checking things off on a box being able to like clothes at or check it off or move the velcro is huge for them they also have a lot that are magnetic to yeah there's a lot of good timers a lot that is something that you have to be show them that they have to be able to notice there are like big sontheimer's little one I use a timer on my phone a lot it's a visual timer that will reveal a picture once the timer is over you can choose any amount of time when the timer is done and it's actually kind of regulating because oftentimes they just kind of like to watch and see what pictures coming so it just sort of regulate their body as they're waiting rather than being upset while they're waiting and then when it goes off like like fireworks water bubbles will come out and I always have my phone on me so whether I'm going from site to site or at home with like my kids I got my phone you know so there's a couple different options on the phone and then go this one is the it's just putting Amazon 60-minute visual timer and you can see here at mamaw different one this one's the rainbow they haven't Under the Sea one and as the time goes away the picture disappears so that one is really helpful I'm going to see if study parents are you okay so this account is called daddy parents on Instagram and it's the over-stimulated parents occupational rest and it's an OT that specifically is all about educating parents and she has an insane amount of free resources available on her Instagram page and on her website that are short and sweet and accessible the other question Heather what it is it the parent resource on the bed parent resource page website the question was where they can access our previous parent workshops in the answer if you go to the sped website on how is website and go to parent resources and you scroll down there recordings of parent info sessions and then any of that's a preschool parent Workshop our workshops that we've done this year yep so we have three additional workshops this year when in March one in April and one in may we are going to be changing the time based on some parent feedback so once we see the fire we can share that with Jody so she can have go out to all of these families as well we're going to be covering the last Workshop is on specifically on summer break and the transition to a new grade or kindergarten or summer summer activities that are available in San Diego and things like that we're doing kind of a behavior 2.0 so it's like a spring fever Behavior because oftentimes our kids have a whole other ways and I know all your tricks time for new ones and then I think the last one is a is on sibling relationships and facilitating positive facilitating positive schools for a complex and sibling conflict I think that we are going to do so we've been doing them from 5:30 to 6:30 and not time it hasn't been great on zoom and so I think that we're going to offer one of them probably in a morning session one and an early afternoon and then the last one in a late-afternoon apetamin experiment to see which one works the best for both but the all be also available via recording and they're old we have many families that pop on with the headphone in and listen it's more fun to do them in person but more susceptible to they are marketed as preschool workshops but I think we may refrain that because it really feels like anything from two or three all the way up to 9 to 12 like 9 to 10 up to Elementary it's probably applicable to and just need a little stretching and Imagination aren't they cute thank you thank you for all the information was so used to thank you you're welcome

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